How can I stop my inner critic and be more in control of my thoughts?.

We've all been there….

Facing a challenge, a presentation, or a difficult conversation, and feeling the stress surge. Sweaty palms, tight muscles, nauseous….Our bodies react with the classic fight-or-flight response, reflecting the inner turmoil going on in the mind.

While physical activities like exercise and meditation offer amazing temporary relief, the real lasting progress lies in addressing the underlying story driving our thoughts and ultimately driving the stress, anxiety and overwhelm.

This story, often filled with self-doubt and negativity (the old familiar 'I'm not good enough', ‘I can’t do it’, ‘I’ll never be able to deliver’ story) only succeeds in feeding the need for excessive preparation, anxiety-ridden nights, and ultimately, hindered performance. The constant rumination takes a toll on our well-being and health.

The good news for you if any of this is resonating, is that you're not alone. The inner critic thrives on negativity, but ultimately you get to decide who is in charge, you get to choose your thoughts, the words you feed yourself and ultimately your story.

Imagine a life where you held the pen and you controlled your own story, where you could interrogate and silence your inner critic instead of allowing it to devour you at the most inconvenient time, one where you owned your thoughts instead of allowing them to own you.

For many, many generations, women played a subservient role in society, and the female brain was wired to believe that was and is the reality BUT the good news is that the brain can be rewired, to think differently and to do differently. It is time to take charge, to change that narrative and rewire the brain to think differently, enabling you to be and do differently. It takes effort, time and consistency rewiring the beliefs of generations but it is so worth it.

Here are my top tips to get you started:

1. Catch yourself: When those negative thoughts arise, pause, identify and acknowledge them and write them down. Observing them helps you to gain perspective.
2. Challenge them: Look at the thoughts objectively and ask yourself how you could change the story, reduce the catastrophising even one little notch.
3. Choose an empowering word that you would like to lead into your presentation, meeting or difficult conversation with e.g. calm, control, confident or strong.

4. Remind yourself when you last lead with this and start to own it i.e. I am in control. Repeat the sentence several times. Words are really powerful and the words you use with yourself are even more powerful. Continue to stand tall repeating your mantra or empowering belief. ‘I am in control, I am in control’ etc. Take a deep breath and go for it.

This is where coaching can be invaluable. It provides a confidential space to unpack any unfounded self-limiting beliefs and 'not enough' narratives you have carried for years, to take control of and rewrite your story so that you can rise and thrive in all areas of your life.

Don't wait. Start rewiring.

If you would like to explore how one of my coaching programmes could help you why not book in your free 20 minute discovery call here and we’ll have a chat.