Do you allow fear of Judgment to silence you?
Does fear of judgement hold you back?
Do you allow the opinions of others to drown out your voice?
Here is a sample of the lines that I am frequently hearing from clients in recent weeks as we emerge back out into the workplace or into society in general.
“I am continually questioning myself”
“I lost my nerve at that meeting and said nothing”
“I no longer back myself in anything that I do”
What happens when we do not speak up?
We sit quietly and react internally. We try to suppress the rising emotions which could be anything from self-criticism to annoyance to frustration or even anger. Now we have moved into a state of fight or flight and the stress reaction is fully activated. We are no longer taking in what is going on around us. We are busy ruminating on what we should have said, didn’t say or couldn’t say, draining our mental and emotional energy wells dry in the process.
Furthermore, when we do not speak up, we are giving our power away, and believe it or not, there are many others out there willing to take it.
Learning to stand in our own power is a process, it is a journey, but it is also one of the most impactful things that we can do for ourselves and for our own sense of self-worth.
Very often it is easier said than done.
What stops me from speaking up or putting myself out there?
Well, ultimately it is fear. That fear could be fear of having the wrong answer, fear of criticism, fear of failure but when that is all broken down, ultimately it is fear of judgement.
As humans, we are wired for safety, the human brain is wired for connection. We want to belong, to please and to be liked. Anything, therefore, that may jeopardise that safety or connection, in other words putting ourselves out there, is going to be scary, very scary. Ultimately, that only leads to frustration and a lack of fulfilment.
When we work on ourselves from the inside out, and drill down and work on those beliefs that may be holding us back, we begin to feel more empowered and with that empowerment comes new energy.
Suddenly we feel energised to achieve, to go for it.
Don’t let fear of judgement hold you back. What you have to say matters.
What simple steps can I take to help myself become more confident on myself?
Take out a page and write 3 positive things about yourself on the page e.g. I am kind, I am conscientious. I am good at what I do.
For each of these 3 positive attributes, give 3 examples of how you have demonstrated them in recent times. Write these down.
Repeat this exercise every day for a week.
At the end of the week, take your page and choose the top three most meaningful and helpful attributes or traits about yourself that would serve you best to grow your confidence in the area that you most need it.
Write them out on a post-it.
If you are really struggling, try one really simple one e.g I am good enough and list 5 or 6 examples of when you demonstrated that you were good enough.
Stick the post-it to your mirror and repeat them to yourself aloud three times each day.
Be consistent with your daily practice.
You are rewiring the brain to think differently about yourself and over time this will become your new belief about yourself.
If you need help why not contact me and book your complimentary discovery call to discuss how one of my coaching programmes could help you overcome that fear of judgement.